![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seeing glass beach at gramercy theater
Jun. 3rd, 2024 04:02 pmYOUNG SCHOLARS AND WOODLAND CREATURES
april 6th 2024. me and my best friend riley, um, we went to a show in manhattan, this show was in - at the Gramercy Theatre. the performing artist was glass beach, a band of which i've been fond for some time. ive kind of a sentimental attachment to them because a very close old friend introduced me to them and being able to admit that i enjoyed them was an important part of the process of accepting myself. when i was 16, i was a very angry young girl because i was frustrated with myself and everyone else. and glass beach was so earnest that it forced me to confront that, and think about it. it took years and years until i finally confronted it. i thought i wasn't allowed to be the person i wanted to be. but i can admit that now. i couldn't before.
and um, that is the kind of energy that the concert had. um, it was kind of amazing, actually. uh, the gramercy theatre seats about 600 people and the show sold out which made me grateful riley had bought the tickets back in something like, sometime in 2023 like november or october maybe. um, and, uh, somebody outside said, um, something along the lines of "these people all look like exactly the sort of people you would see at a glass beach show, if you imagined in your head listening to their music, what a glass beach fan would look like." um, actually when me and riley uh, when me and riley arrived at the place we arrived about half an hour early, and saw the line, and it was already pretty long, and we got wendys and we went back and the line was even longer, and even though everyone was standing around the TD bank, I realized it was the glass beach line when i saw someone with an aphex twin beanie standing outside, which was pretty funny actually. so, we also walked past niche, um, niche celebrity and creator of bloodborne kart lilith b0tster. who is, ~6 ft tall with bright blue hair and a witch hat, so, hard to miss. it was kind of interesting to see somebody with that distinct of a presence, but to be honest everybody else at that show had a pretty distinct presence, it was just that the one that i recognized was um, b0tster. um... something...
when we got in, uh, two pretty good bands opened for them... there was this sort of jazz rock thing and then there was a pop punk band with a very pretty trans woman as the frontwoman, um, nothing to add there, it was just kind of like, it was the first sign, it was the first thing that made it seem kind of like... that comforting, like, expression of the self, the nature of that, and the fact that there was this very pretty girl and this very amazing singer who felt no need to hide her sort of mid-high tenor, which is an unusual range for a cis woman but pretty common for trans women, and, everything kind of followed from that... what i compared it to afterwards was um, i always think of the internet as a kind of astral plane, and in almost all mythologies that deal with an astral plane tehre is a moment where the astral plane and the physical one meet, and, um, well when i showed up, riley and I were wearing uh, matching hoodies of gir from invader zim, and um, riley had fox ears and a tail on, and not only was that happening, but people kept like pointing it out and saying it was cool, and its just like, this total universe of positive self expression spilling out and becoming one. it's the sort of thing that makes you realize all suddenly, that all of this is real, especially as a trans woman its like, this is real. i really am a woman. im not some cosplayer, not some, like, overoptimistic kid trying to be something she's not. no! i am this thing that i am. and nobody else can do anything about it. and it was so celebratory. and i looked there, and i looked onstage, and classic j has, classic j has, so...
the way this worked was that um, the first two acts had a certain energy, but i wanted to dance, and i wanted to dance to glass beach, so i sat in the bleachers until the glass beach set started, in which case i nodded to riley and waded down into the pit. and i ended up being quite close to the stage, and i saw on the stage that classic j had a plushie of a fox on her keyboard. and the thing that struck me, standing there, dancing my fucking heart out in that pit, was um... people like me matter. people like me and riley matter. people like me and riley can fill up a fucking theatre and get people dancing and get people fucking moshing and get people doing a weird circle thing, in the moshpit, and um, like, some people who looked like their fursonas were there, on and offstage. its the sort of thing that you like you're lonely and youre trans and youre like 16 and you sit and you cant even imagine something so perfect and wonderful. but its real. and this is the real world. and all the shit on the internet doesnt matter.
cuz, yknow there was another thing happening fucking april 5th-6th. it was um. um, me and my band midi bunny, had a callout post written about us by a disgruntled ex coworker. and that was really like fucking my life up for those couple days. i kept waking up cold sweating feeling sick just thinking about that just thinking about like, that is dirt on my name forever now. but like being in a physical place with like, real physical other trans people, and real other physical artists, and like absorbing and channelling that power and optimism and love. makes it seem like none of that drama, none of that shit, none of that fucking PAST that we have to pretend still matters - we don't have to pretend it still matters. it doesn't matter anymore. it doesnt have to and it shouldnt have to. in the end, um, in the end it's like, you cant let anyone fall down. when somebody loses an earring everybody clears the space and turns their flashlights on. the whole idea of being an artist is looking out for each other. its why we all often hold left wing political views. cus, yknow, you gotta work together. that's how you learn to sleep at night
how could i ever sleep at night
my conscience left me petrified
april 6th 2024. me and my best friend riley, um, we went to a show in manhattan, this show was in - at the Gramercy Theatre. the performing artist was glass beach, a band of which i've been fond for some time. ive kind of a sentimental attachment to them because a very close old friend introduced me to them and being able to admit that i enjoyed them was an important part of the process of accepting myself. when i was 16, i was a very angry young girl because i was frustrated with myself and everyone else. and glass beach was so earnest that it forced me to confront that, and think about it. it took years and years until i finally confronted it. i thought i wasn't allowed to be the person i wanted to be. but i can admit that now. i couldn't before.
and um, that is the kind of energy that the concert had. um, it was kind of amazing, actually. uh, the gramercy theatre seats about 600 people and the show sold out which made me grateful riley had bought the tickets back in something like, sometime in 2023 like november or october maybe. um, and, uh, somebody outside said, um, something along the lines of "these people all look like exactly the sort of people you would see at a glass beach show, if you imagined in your head listening to their music, what a glass beach fan would look like." um, actually when me and riley uh, when me and riley arrived at the place we arrived about half an hour early, and saw the line, and it was already pretty long, and we got wendys and we went back and the line was even longer, and even though everyone was standing around the TD bank, I realized it was the glass beach line when i saw someone with an aphex twin beanie standing outside, which was pretty funny actually. so, we also walked past niche, um, niche celebrity and creator of bloodborne kart lilith b0tster. who is, ~6 ft tall with bright blue hair and a witch hat, so, hard to miss. it was kind of interesting to see somebody with that distinct of a presence, but to be honest everybody else at that show had a pretty distinct presence, it was just that the one that i recognized was um, b0tster. um... something...
when we got in, uh, two pretty good bands opened for them... there was this sort of jazz rock thing and then there was a pop punk band with a very pretty trans woman as the frontwoman, um, nothing to add there, it was just kind of like, it was the first sign, it was the first thing that made it seem kind of like... that comforting, like, expression of the self, the nature of that, and the fact that there was this very pretty girl and this very amazing singer who felt no need to hide her sort of mid-high tenor, which is an unusual range for a cis woman but pretty common for trans women, and, everything kind of followed from that... what i compared it to afterwards was um, i always think of the internet as a kind of astral plane, and in almost all mythologies that deal with an astral plane tehre is a moment where the astral plane and the physical one meet, and, um, well when i showed up, riley and I were wearing uh, matching hoodies of gir from invader zim, and um, riley had fox ears and a tail on, and not only was that happening, but people kept like pointing it out and saying it was cool, and its just like, this total universe of positive self expression spilling out and becoming one. it's the sort of thing that makes you realize all suddenly, that all of this is real, especially as a trans woman its like, this is real. i really am a woman. im not some cosplayer, not some, like, overoptimistic kid trying to be something she's not. no! i am this thing that i am. and nobody else can do anything about it. and it was so celebratory. and i looked there, and i looked onstage, and classic j has, classic j has, so...
the way this worked was that um, the first two acts had a certain energy, but i wanted to dance, and i wanted to dance to glass beach, so i sat in the bleachers until the glass beach set started, in which case i nodded to riley and waded down into the pit. and i ended up being quite close to the stage, and i saw on the stage that classic j had a plushie of a fox on her keyboard. and the thing that struck me, standing there, dancing my fucking heart out in that pit, was um... people like me matter. people like me and riley matter. people like me and riley can fill up a fucking theatre and get people dancing and get people fucking moshing and get people doing a weird circle thing, in the moshpit, and um, like, some people who looked like their fursonas were there, on and offstage. its the sort of thing that you like you're lonely and youre trans and youre like 16 and you sit and you cant even imagine something so perfect and wonderful. but its real. and this is the real world. and all the shit on the internet doesnt matter.
cuz, yknow there was another thing happening fucking april 5th-6th. it was um. um, me and my band midi bunny, had a callout post written about us by a disgruntled ex coworker. and that was really like fucking my life up for those couple days. i kept waking up cold sweating feeling sick just thinking about that just thinking about like, that is dirt on my name forever now. but like being in a physical place with like, real physical other trans people, and real other physical artists, and like absorbing and channelling that power and optimism and love. makes it seem like none of that drama, none of that shit, none of that fucking PAST that we have to pretend still matters - we don't have to pretend it still matters. it doesn't matter anymore. it doesnt have to and it shouldnt have to. in the end, um, in the end it's like, you cant let anyone fall down. when somebody loses an earring everybody clears the space and turns their flashlights on. the whole idea of being an artist is looking out for each other. its why we all often hold left wing political views. cus, yknow, you gotta work together. that's how you learn to sleep at night
how could i ever sleep at night
my conscience left me petrified
